Faith

Recently Matt Chandler posted a candid letter that he wrote to his worship leader, Bleeker about some convictions that he had about income generated outside of his role as pastor of his church family.

My post here doesn't line up exactly with the sentiments in his letter but it was sparked by his words.

I am not a senior pastor. In fact I am a 5th and 6th grade pastor. However God has given me strong convictions to proclaim the truth of the Gospel through preaching and teaching. I have a job that pays me to play dodgeball, watch kids eat and do crazy things and preach His word. I also have a graphic design business on the side that generates some income for my family. Times have been tough lately and so I have been taking on more design projects and spending less time with my family and ministry as a result.

I have been trying to find a balance between believing that God will provide and my calling as a man to work and make things happen.

I have not fully worked it out yet, but I feel like God wants me to stop doing graphic design. I am way more reliant on my ability to provide a service and get paid for it than I am on God. That is evidenced by my worrying mind and having my priorities moved around just to make ends meet.

I know that I am called to be a husband and a father. I know that I am called to be in ministry and preach the Gospel. I also know that graphic design pulls me away from both.

God is convicting me that I have not been relying on Him. I have not been a state where faith was possible because I tried to do it on my own strength. Oh that He would grant me faith enough to obey Him when He tells me to stop designing and start praying.